Now I know not all disabilities are visible. If you saw me just sat on any old seat you would think "okay she's petite" but you wouldn't really know I was disabled until you got up close and saw the scars or saw me in my wheelchair. But that is a good thing because 9 times of 10 I won't consider myself disabled. In my mind I can do anything and will find a way up, over and around things to give myself all the opportunities you would have.
But now and then I remember that I have actually got a medical condition, otherwise known as a disability that can effect my body. Happy days!! The surgeon said that I am fair enough along into my rehab post operation to be able to go back to archery. The one thing I have been waiting to hear since the moment I found out I wouldn't be going to the Paralympics this year. This is great right? Well yes it is but I am afraid there is a but on this occasion. I may have "recovered" enough from a surgical point of view BUT not from a Muscular Dystrophy point of view. The conditions official definition is "a muscle wasting condition with no cure". I have this. Which means no amount of medication and physio will help me regain what I have lost (from a muscle point of view anyway). I am only ever as strong as I am right now. Which is like living with a ticking clock inside you waiting for an alarm to go off telling you it's time wake up and realise that its time to get a little weaker again. That's physically thought, but let me tell you I don't think anyone would say that is the case for me up top. Although I may have been given the thumbs up to shoot - Positive. My body is ready YET - Negative. I am quite a fan of a good toasted sandwich, especially now that Autumn is setting in. Which is why there need to be a positive to follow all that is being said above. Which is exactly this. That despite not being London 2012. Despite not making Rio 2016. Despite having surgery practically every year of my life since I was born. Despite all that. I am still human. Not a superhuman as some people label people like myself. That's how I know that now and then it's okay not to be okay, because all I know is that metaphorically speaking when winter comes it might bring the cold and the ice but it also brings Christmas. Now all I've got to do is do what I do best. Keep strolling on and get ready for Christmas day (in more than one sense). So while I'm busy getting all festive and jolly the world better get ready for my come back. Because I may have been knocked down by by my "disability" and fallen 7 times, but I will get back 8!
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