Now I know not all disabilities are visible. If you saw me just sat on any old seat you would think "okay she's petite" but you wouldn't really know I was disabled until you got up close and saw the scars or saw me in my wheelchair. But that is a good thing because 9 times of 10 I won't consider myself disabled. In my mind I can do anything and will find a way up, over and around things to give myself all the opportunities you would have.
But now and then I remember that I have actually got a medical condition, otherwise known as a disability that can effect my body.
Happy days!! The surgeon said that I am fair enough along into my rehab post operation to be able to go back to archery. The one thing I have been waiting to hear since the moment I found out I wouldn't be going to the Paralympics this year. This is great right? Well yes it is but I am afraid there is a but on this occasion.
I may have "recovered" enough from a surgical point of view BUT not from a Muscular Dystrophy point of view. The conditions official definition is "a muscle wasting condition with no cure". I have this. Which means no amount of medication and physio will help me regain what I have lost (from a muscle point of view anyway). I am only ever as strong as I am right now. Which is like living with a ticking clock inside you waiting for an alarm to go off telling you it's time wake up and realise that its time to get a little weaker again.
That's physically thought, but let me tell you I don't think anyone would say that is the case for me up top. Although I may have been given the thumbs up to shoot - Positive. My body is ready YET - Negative. I am quite a fan of a good toasted sandwich, especially now that Autumn is setting in. Which is why there need to be a positive to follow all that is being said above.
Which is exactly this. That despite not being London 2012. Despite not making Rio 2016. Despite having surgery practically every year of my life since I was born. Despite all that. I am still human. Not a superhuman as some people label people like myself.
That's how I know that now and then it's okay not to be okay, because all I know is that metaphorically speaking when winter comes it might bring the cold and the ice but it also brings Christmas. Now all I've got to do is do what I do best. Keep strolling on and get ready for Christmas day (in more than one sense). So while I'm busy getting all festive and jolly the world better get ready for my come back. Because I may have been knocked down by by my "disability" and fallen 7 times, but I will get back 8!
8 months ago I was being told that I was a medal chance for the Paralympics in Rio which starts tomorrow. But as I'm sure you can work out by the word WAS. That isn't what I will be doing now. That door slammed in my face; but the BBC gave me a key to a very different door.
Let me give you a visual. So right now I'm sat at my No.17 desk at BBC Bristol. To my right, the journalist from Points West. To my left is the Radio Studios. But immediately all around my desk are the Sports Reporters who have spent the last 8 weeks helping me become a better journalism. I've been a BBC Kick Off Sports Reporter.
I couldn't have asked for a nicer group of people to spend my summer with and to learn from. Oh and leant I have! Studying sports journalism for two years and presenting a sports show for a year certainly helps, but being in such a prestigious working environment like the BBC has helped me come on leaps and bounds as a journalist; and as a person.
I have had a chance to help do research, preparing thing for the local Paralympic radio coverage, editing clips and writing ques for bulletins bit I have also been able to get out and about talking to local athletes and sports teams.
I have attended my first Cricket game and interviewed some of the biggest names in Women's Cricket Internationally. I've interviews the Bristol City Women's Football Club. I put together a radio package about a local Paralympian Jo Frith ahead of flying to Rio. For me though my ultimate one was Eddie the Eagle. Cuppa with Chloe right there. We sat in Gregg's for 2 hour drinking tea/coffee and eating pastries. He is even going to do some Archery and Skiing wit me. How crazy is that! All of these experience have not only created radio packages for me but also lasting connections, and I would even say friendships, with these amazing athletes.
But now that this placement is coming to an end I'm wondering if this door is going to close or whether it will open even more? Right now your guess is as good as mine. But fingers crossed I will find out my options soon.
All I know right now is that I have had the best summer at BBC Bristol which I don't want to come to an end. I guess this is the definition of as one door closes, another one always opens ...